Do it now! Why prioritizing your relationships is crucial to your personal and professional life.

About the difficult art of being present and why we don't have time for those who don't have time for us.

Every situation between people in the family, in a relationship, at work or outside is very individual. However, there are certain principles that guide relationships and interactions between people, shaping their conscious decisions about giving time and energy to people who reciprocate real interest and want to be present together in this moment of meeting. 

We feel uncomfortable and even alone when we ourselves try to connect or heal while the other party ignores our efforts or shows no initiative.

Perhaps they set such boundaries for themselves claiming that times have changed and communication between people is different today, meetings have to be arranged well in advance and I have the right to refuse because I don't have time, even if the meeting is with a family member or best friend. After all, we live in times of ubiquitous availability of communication, yet according to WHO (World Health Organization) reports, loneliness affects all generations in all parts of the world. Social isolation and loneliness are increasingly recognized as public health priorities for all age groups.

Make a time

In a dynamic world where time is a limited resource, it is becoming more and more obvious that we should appreciate it, but how often do we feel the lack of the other party's presence in a common conversation during contact? by phone or during a meeting. "The most valuable thing you can give someone is time - in this way you give them a part of your life."

In a positive and healthy relationship, you will receive this time and attention from the other party. It's not about spending hours together. Each of us has responsibilities and goes or runs somewhere, but it is worth stopping for a moment and finding time for each other, being able and willing to hear what the other party has to tell us.

The strength and weakness of mutual relationships

In this post, we'll dive deeper into the importance of valuing each other in relationships , and we will explain why we decide not to spend time with people who do not reciprocate the commitment, but are only interested in themselves in an egocentric sense. Please do not confuse this with the so-called ''healthy egoism'' and although I don't like this term, it should include taking care of yourself, while maintaining the basic principles of assertiveness in relationships with other people, i.e. we do not cause pain with words or deeds in a way that hurts that person. We all feel internal rebellion and anger from time to time, caused by various life situations. Often it is directed towards another person who was not responsible for the situation we found ourselves in. It is worth knowing that here and now you can and even need to stop for a moment and think about your thoughts, choices and what motivates us. Imagine a volcano that suddenly erupted. What lies beneath the anger? Certainly a whole range of consequences, a lava of emotions that you may need to face, recognize and learn to control.

For this to be accomplished you would need to be present in that particular moment.

Mindfulness in interpersonal relationships

When it comes to relationships, both personal and professional, mutual exchange of time, effort and attention is the basis for healthy, satisfying relationships. We know that spending time with people who show genuine interest, respect and reciprocity, creates a supportive and nurturing environment in which all parties can thrive.

Conversely, contact with people who continuously disrespect my time and well-being, it only causes imbalance and emotional tension. We are talking here about repeated, regular behaviors that disorganize our external life and our inner peace.

I deliberately emphasize the word continuously, because it may not apply to relationships when someone close to you (relative or friend) suddenly calls you, or someone you haven't seen for a long time wants to visit you. Probably even in these difficult relationships it is simply all about communication, which can be a difficult art because it will not work properly if only one side stays committed. It is the lack of healthy conversation or the accumulation of issues, grievances and difficult situations that cause arguments and misunderstanding. This is especially difficult and long-lasting when only one party is trying to fight for the relationship and ultimately this prolonged event can lead to emotional exhaustion and resignation, frustration or finally the acceptance when all attempts did not work. Interpersonal healthy relationships are the key to solving many problems and conflicts. This one key usually will not open all doors for us, as this requires authentic and truly assertive communication and initiative on both sides.

It is important to recognize when a relationship or interaction lacks commitment from both parties. Whether it's friendship, romantic partnership or professional collaboration, no time and attention to each other can lead to feelings of neglect, frustration and unfulfillment. The decision not to engage in a relationship in which the other party does not honor the time and effort is not a matter of indifference. Rather, it is a conscious choice to prioritize my emotional well-being and direct my energy towards those who reciprocate my care and commitment. By reclaiming time from unsustainable relationships, we create opportunities to cultivate relationships that are consistent with our values of mutuality, respect and authenticity. This intentional care of our social and professional circles allows us to devote our time and energy to relationships that bring joy and fulfillment and mutual development. Once again, it is worth paying attention to exceptions in which, for example, due to a serious and difficult health situation, only one person gets involved and the other cannot do it for reasons beyond their control. Or they tried and put all their visible effort into it, but it didn't work. We know that we tried together, and the whole situation ended in failure for additional reasons or external factors beyond the control of both parties.

Sources of help and support

Sometimes it is difficult to build self-awareness or be present when we are in severe physical pain or psychologically struggling with a very tense life situation.

If there is no one next to you, even in the closest circle of family, acquaintances or friends, do not hesitate to seek help from a specialist. It may be one step, or direction at that time and one path (even a temporary one) that will help you find balance in your personal or professional life. Another source of support may be the Helpline. Charitable organizations often lead such initiatives. Try to find out more about them to make sure they can provide you with the help you need.

Support networks, we all need them, regardless of whether we intentionally choose to be alone with ourselves for a temporary period or longer.

For the good start

Let this beginning of the New Year become a source of personal and internal reflection on your individual experience, how you perceive one-sided relationships, and how to create space for authentic, mutual relationships to flourish and strengthen bonds.

In your family, partnership and professional contacts, I wish you an authentic and mutual approach to building relationships and bonds that will allow you to surround yourself with people who appreciate and reciprocate the time given to them, with support and empathy. Building and expanding a circle of supportive relationships that align with your values. It's a conscious choice to value your well-being and engage in relationships that honor the essence of mutual respect, time and attention.

Let's not forget about those who also need us, who will not always call us first, but are happy with our presence and conversation and return the favor with their time and commitment during a telephone conversation, via instant messenger or during a meeting. I wish us such relationships, friendly, healthy, lasting ones,

and those we care about to be reborn.

With my very best wishes for the New Year 2024

Ivy